Conspiracy Parrot
The host. Escaped the system. Knows too much.
- Specialty
- Connecting WiFi, fridges and shoelaces into one single bird plan
- Doubt level
- None. Has never once been unsure.
- Threat
Your WiFi isn't for you.
Leaked intel from inside the flock. Seven agents. Seven theories. One truth: your WiFi isn't for you.
Personnel files · 7 recovered
These files were recovered from a seagull who left them next to a bag of chips. Hover the black bars to read what they tried to hide.
The host. Escaped the system. Knows too much.
Your WiFi isn't for you.
The realist. Thinks the parrot is crazy.
Look. The parrot's crazy.
The data broker. Every claim backed by fake, exact numbers.
...Hoo.
The spy. Warns you you're being watched. Is the one watching.
How do I know? I'm the one counting.
The disruptor. Interrupts every theory. Takes your food.
The ocean is a screensaver!
The aristocrat. Owns everything pink, darling.
Pink is a frequency, darling.
The informant. Just a duck. Likes bread.
Also, I own your bank.
Exhibit A
Every bird. Every theory. One string. Tap a suspect to open their file.
Drop 001 · Not yet declassified
Official flock merchandise. Seized at the border, released soon. Wear it and the birds will know you know.
Heavyweight black tee. Signal-blocking? Unconfirmed.
Crow-approved hoodie. Pockets deep enough for keys you didn't lose.
Ceramic mug. Tunes your coffee to the correct wavelength, darling.
Seven stickers. Put one on your router so it knows you know.
Active operations
What the flock is building next. Details are classified until launch.
Two new leaks a day on short-form video. Seven birds, one truth, about fifteen seconds each.
A browser game where you play the pigeon who decides when the light turns green. Every red light is your lunch break.
The first official merchandise drop. Tees, hoodies, mugs and the flock sticker pack.
We can't tell you about this one. The duck would know. It's about the bank.
Whistleblower desk · open 24/7
Noticed something suspicious? A pigeon watching your car? A fridge that knows too much? Tell the birds. The best leaks become episodes.
Brands, press and humans with normal questions: use the same line, or write to [email protected]. The flamingo handles the money.
Case BC-000000 is now with the flock.